Getting to know U

So, I had thirteen hours to "experience" the ER--and it is not at all like the TV show of the same name. Major teaching hospital, ambulance bay, and people in scrubs--and there the similarities end.

No Jerry, no Sam, no Luca. Triage had nice male nurses--or at least nurses good enough to make you think they care for the 10 minutes that they record your vitals and complaints. Gatekeepers they are--deciding where you go next. Ours took vitals and a history, looked up the number, and helped with the undressing (not easy)--and with good intentions, routed us to X-ray, packed in ice.

I guess another similarity with the TV show was that we waited in the hall. Next to an empty gurney and some trash bins. Seems there was no room wherever it is that one would normally wait for X-ray. In what seemed like forever for Mr. Pants, but was really not all that long, a perky X-ray person (you can tell by the color coded shirts--posters are all over the place showing the coding of the dress) whisked Mr. Pants and his ice off to the X-rays, while the "unit clerk" who had come looking for us, ushered me to a curtain--small cube on the corner. The nurse for this curtain showed up promptly, but with no patient, there was nothing to do. Pleasant chat, then she was gone.

Over the next hour, as I sat knitting, various hospital employees came and went--housekeeping guy emptied the wastebaskets, Tan scrubs showed up with a chart and some labels, white coat Dr. Breezed in, read the papers, looked quizzically at me until I explained about the X-Rays, and then disappeared. Blue scrubs nurse checked as she walked by to see if there was a patient.

They brought an older lady into the curtain next door. She was profoundly deaf--causing quite a stir among the help--and a little frustration for her husband, who had to explain her plight over and over and over....And although I know it was "confidential", with everyone yelling at the poor woman, and the retelling, I know every detail of her illness while in Arizona. Dialysis. Kidney transplant. Kidney failure again. Removal of transplanted organ. Staples. Fever, more dialysis, High blood pressure. Headaches. Coughing, etc. etc. etc. Poor woman. No easy answers. They were our neighbors for 10 hours until she disappeared into the "hospital" for admitting.

There were wandering pregnant women. Lots of assorted companions. A majorly intoxicated man that the police brought in. The Medical Examiner (honest), with someone at the desk (this could happen on ER) yelling who called the ME?? There was a lady who needed stitches in her chin (fell on the ice), and several worried parents with screaming dehydrated little ones. There were old guys with IV's, ladies crumpled on gurneys with husbands holding the coats (and staring into space). There was lots of activity--but none of it seemed to this observer to get anyone either closer to a cure, or out of there. There was a mysterious "holding area" where people were sent--usually after hours and hours in the ER--to be held for whatever was coming next.

Mr. Pants returned from X-ray without the ice packs, and without the pillow they had provided in X=ray. He was gurneied at this point, and trying to be brave in the face of the pain. The blue (nurse) looked at his wounds, confirmed some info, and said we need to wait for the X-rays. We waited, and waited, and waited.

I found bathrooms. Had to find several, as it seems that there are many more people using them than the number they have. Eventually, I figured out that if you leave the ER and go into the "family" waiting room (where no one was waiting) that you had a good shot at an empty restroom (cleaner too!). Of course, you then needed a sticker, and you were supposed to get the official looking family room attendant to buzz you in....But with the sticker and good timing, I found, I could skip that step, and scoot through the doors.

We had arrived before lunch. It was now well past dinner. We were still waiting, although there were some semblance of bandaging. Also some Dr. walking in and out....Honest, just walking in and out. I asked about getting some food. The tan shirt told me that they could order guest trays, but they were expensive, and in her opinion, not very tasty. She recommended the WEndy's. When it was approaching my bedtime, I decided to set out in search of food. A purple gave me directions--down this hall, turn left, through the doors, left again. Take the elevators to 2. Seemed simple enough.

Got to the elevators, feeling strangely like I was tresspassing. I once worked in an urgent care, so I have some "health care sense"--and much like the time I ended up in the restricted to government workers only area of the basement of the capitol in Washington DC, I sensed that I was not in the most public of areas in this hospital. The doors opened at 2--I stepped out, and was in the operating room hallway--thank goodness there were signs, and I found my way to another family waiting room (surgical), and with more sign reading, found eventually "information".

The info lady (in street clothes, apparently either they ran out of colors, or information is so rare that it does not have a uniform) was nice, and said, go back the way you came. You got off at 2, and should have gone to the other 2. (You would think that if they had 2 2's, someone giving directions should have mentioned it. Use the East elevators!

Again, sign reading led me to the cafeteria, and a sharp left, led to the Wendy's right there in the middle of a major research hospital! No tables, just a queue, and some typical fast food workers. Fast, but not mensa candidates. I got some food, thinking how ironic it was that in a health center one could get frosties and fries without even going outside, and found my way back to the ER, where we were still waiting.

I am sure that there is no marketing plan which lays out the scenario that the plan is to keep ER patients there until the brink of starvation to increase Wendy's sales, but it had that effect.

So, here we were, at 10 at night using a gurney for a table, munching our fast food...While we waited......Just before we were moved to the "holding area"....

To be continued.....