The daisies are in full bloom. I was not originally a Daisy person, but they are perennials, and low maintenance, so added a few to the front landscaping at our prior house. Little did I know that they were my mothers "favorite" flower. Her birthday is this time of the year (she would have been 103 next week), and she told me that she thought that the daisies bloomed just for her birthday. Being raised in a poor mining community, I suppose that you looked for beauty wherever you could find it. Or maybe it was that her sisters had March birthdays, when there were no flowers abloom!
As her dementia progressed, she found it frustrating that the names of flowers long familiar had left her--petunias, geraniums, etc. But the daisy was always "there". I planted large stands of daises outside her window for her to enjoy. When we could no longer care for her, and she moved to "the home", I marked her door with a wreath of daisies--so she could always find it.
Now, when the daisies bloom, I think of her. They are still outside her window, although she is long gone. Enjoyed now by her great grandson, who thinks they are interesting. They bloom around my yard, immune to deer nibbling, and a reminder of the time we spend gardening (I gardened, mom sat in a chair and watched). They remind me of the birthdays of my two DIL, both sharing June as a birthday month with my mother, and each in her own way a characteristic or two (could that have influenced why they were selected?).
This year, her 103 year of daisies, they remind me that although she has been gone for years, she is still with me. In the sewing she taught me; the recipes that we occasionally pull out for special occasions; in the eyes of 4, who looks most like her and has her love of new recipes; in the people we are because she enriched our lives; in the memories we share of her "quirks"; and in ways our lives were better because she was here.
The daisies are blooming....a sweet reminder of a great mother and grandmother. And although she never got to meet them, she would have loved having great grandsons!
Random musings of a middle aged knitter.
Showing posts with label Memories. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Memories. Show all posts
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Saturday, December 16, 2006
Yultide joy?
It is the 16th. The tree has been sitting there looking "lit" for a week--and I make myself go get the ornaments boxes. M had shown up yesterday, and there was a brief hope of help, but she has flitted off again, forgetting that this might be "fun"--or maybe deciding that it would not be as "fun" as her plans.
E. has always wanted a "matching" tree (ironic if you knew her), like the ones in the department stores, with all the same ornaments, perfectly spaced lights, and festooned with matching adornments. I like my tree better, although nothing matches. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and it is not the tree or the ornaments that I find beautiful, but the memories attached to each ornament.
I start with the carefully wrapped treasures--feather flamingo from my friend J. representing the now quarter- century long "joke" we have shared, an angel in a tiny snow globe from my "angel" friend at work, carefully and beautifully embroidered German balls from our friends there, beaded bells and candy canes that T. had strung together. There were reindeers (several) crafted in second grade by various of the 4. (One needed his eye glued back on). There were intricately stitched ornaments--one for each year, for each of the four--depicting something related to their self (how did I find the time?). E. has several skater ornaments. D has an adorable cub scout as cute as he was, M. is beaming at me as her most precouscious and photogenic self from a 5 year- olds hand cut construction paper bell- lamnated, name carefully lettered on the back in her kindergarten handwriting. There are several J. trains, as he loved them then. There is the drummer boy from 1988 because D. was really one then. There is an over- the- river- and- through- the- woods shiny metal ornament from 1977, from the "B "s, when we could go to grandmother's house, although it was in a Mazda, not a sleigh.
The years fly by, and I enjoy the thoughts of "them"--both the years, and the children who filled our house with noise and love. Who fought, and squabbled, left fingerprints and glow in the dark glop on our walls, and filled our days with laughter, frustrations, and busyness that I can't even imagine keeping up with now! Thoughts of all the special people in our lives who have over the years, contributed to this collection that adorns our tree.
There is the goofy poodle satin ball and pompom ornament crafted by Aunt H. There are the ornate pearl, bead, sequin creations of Aunt L., looking inspired by her trips to Europe, as these would be more in place in a palace than they were in the modest downriver homes or our origins. There is the obnoxius Pointsettia that sings "rockin around the Xmas tree" from Aunt L2--always a fan of the obnoxious and battery operated. Individually, they are strange, ugly, odd, homemade, tacky, old, unusual, or over the top--but I like them, not for themselves, but for the lives lived they represent.
There is a layer from my youth..mostly ceremic..angels, skiing santas, Mrs. Clauss. I can remember being little, and putting these on my parent's tree.....There are the sequin and tassle balls crafted by grandma F in HER favorite color- tourquoise! There are crochet mice and wreaths, bird feeders made of medicine cups, and winter scenes from discarded holiday cards glued into a canning jar lid by a first grader years ago. There are several "Make it bake it" ornaments, carefully baked by little ones spending the day with Grandma B.
I mist up thinking of those who are not around to wish a happy holiday anymore--I miss the "Scrooge" act, and the egg nog, the burbon balls and fudge meltaways, the krispy treats and wild morning treck from house to house.... The tabacco smell that had permeated even the wrapped gifts... and later, the boxes from Florida. The large extended family gatherings, where people often had a hard time being "nice" for the whole time, and the food was good, although often tepid by the time time we all sat down.
So now we move forward with 2006. New ornaments for this year purchased in fancy botiques, not child-made or home-made, for that is where our lives are now. An acorn, a glass bird, a snowman...to add to the collection and the memories.
I never want my tree to be "matching"......sorry E. Some day you may understand!
E. has always wanted a "matching" tree (ironic if you knew her), like the ones in the department stores, with all the same ornaments, perfectly spaced lights, and festooned with matching adornments. I like my tree better, although nothing matches. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and it is not the tree or the ornaments that I find beautiful, but the memories attached to each ornament.
I start with the carefully wrapped treasures--feather flamingo from my friend J. representing the now quarter- century long "joke" we have shared, an angel in a tiny snow globe from my "angel" friend at work, carefully and beautifully embroidered German balls from our friends there, beaded bells and candy canes that T. had strung together. There were reindeers (several) crafted in second grade by various of the 4. (One needed his eye glued back on). There were intricately stitched ornaments--one for each year, for each of the four--depicting something related to their self (how did I find the time?). E. has several skater ornaments. D has an adorable cub scout as cute as he was, M. is beaming at me as her most precouscious and photogenic self from a 5 year- olds hand cut construction paper bell- lamnated, name carefully lettered on the back in her kindergarten handwriting. There are several J. trains, as he loved them then. There is the drummer boy from 1988 because D. was really one then. There is an over- the- river- and- through- the- woods shiny metal ornament from 1977, from the "B "s, when we could go to grandmother's house, although it was in a Mazda, not a sleigh.
The years fly by, and I enjoy the thoughts of "them"--both the years, and the children who filled our house with noise and love. Who fought, and squabbled, left fingerprints and glow in the dark glop on our walls, and filled our days with laughter, frustrations, and busyness that I can't even imagine keeping up with now! Thoughts of all the special people in our lives who have over the years, contributed to this collection that adorns our tree.
There is the goofy poodle satin ball and pompom ornament crafted by Aunt H. There are the ornate pearl, bead, sequin creations of Aunt L., looking inspired by her trips to Europe, as these would be more in place in a palace than they were in the modest downriver homes or our origins. There is the obnoxius Pointsettia that sings "rockin around the Xmas tree" from Aunt L2--always a fan of the obnoxious and battery operated. Individually, they are strange, ugly, odd, homemade, tacky, old, unusual, or over the top--but I like them, not for themselves, but for the lives lived they represent.
There is a layer from my youth..mostly ceremic..angels, skiing santas, Mrs. Clauss. I can remember being little, and putting these on my parent's tree.....There are the sequin and tassle balls crafted by grandma F in HER favorite color- tourquoise! There are crochet mice and wreaths, bird feeders made of medicine cups, and winter scenes from discarded holiday cards glued into a canning jar lid by a first grader years ago. There are several "Make it bake it" ornaments, carefully baked by little ones spending the day with Grandma B.
I mist up thinking of those who are not around to wish a happy holiday anymore--I miss the "Scrooge" act, and the egg nog, the burbon balls and fudge meltaways, the krispy treats and wild morning treck from house to house.... The tabacco smell that had permeated even the wrapped gifts... and later, the boxes from Florida. The large extended family gatherings, where people often had a hard time being "nice" for the whole time, and the food was good, although often tepid by the time time we all sat down.
So now we move forward with 2006. New ornaments for this year purchased in fancy botiques, not child-made or home-made, for that is where our lives are now. An acorn, a glass bird, a snowman...to add to the collection and the memories.
I never want my tree to be "matching"......sorry E. Some day you may understand!
Monday, December 11, 2006
Doing Mom Proud
It all started innocently enough. We have a new receptionist, and true to office protocol, she got the short straw--planning the office festivities. Along with the requisite luncheon and the secret Santa nonsense (that we can never seem to keep secret), she added a new office "tradition"--special treat day.
The emailed instructions indicated that we should bake, make, buy and/or bring our favorite traditional holiday treat for a sharing fest during lunch (I think they got a reprieve from weight watchers for a day!)
Tempting as "buy" was, I rejected it. I am a "home economist" after all. But when thinking of my traditional holiday treats--they all seemed most appropriate for 2-7 year olds--candy cane cookies, painted cookies, sugar cookies with sprinkles and frosting, krispy treats--then I remembered--I have been in the workforce all these years---so did not evolve my "holiday traditions" beyond the point when I returned to work full time--thus forever frozen in pre-and early elementary school items (which are currently appreciated by Z).
So, I think, perhaps I will adopt the more "grown up" holiday traditions of my mother. The coveted box (no, any of the 4, you cannot have it--yet) is in my possession! I find the 50's/early 60' plastic box (intended for shoes, I think) and marvel at the collection of kitchen "gunk" that covers it--but cannot remove it--as it is "important". Flour, butter, vanilla mixtures placed by her fingers over the years.....I have "Buckeyes" in mind--not the all time favorite tradition (her fudge meltaways), but I am likely to have all the ingredients on hand.
I start flipping at the front of the box. Cookies (largest section). Then candy...sauces? on through punch, cake, pie, desserts (second largest section). Plod through casseroles, meats (interstingly only two cards: Meatloaf and porkchop casserole), vegetables (another small section with a zuchinni recipe, green bean casserole, and 5 versions of Kansas creamed corn), there is a drinks section with how to make your own Kalulah, salads--subdivided into vegetable, gelatin, fruit, slaws, etc. There is no bread section, but there is a pancake tab--? On throughFrozen desserts, potluck favorites, and some cards with recipes, but no section label. As I am hunting for the buckeyes (to me they should have been in candy), I am amazed at the stuff my mother collected that I never saw her cook...like Chicken recipes, zuchinni anything, and a dozen variations of quiche. Maybe after I left home......
The recipes were mostly hand written in her own handwritting (a little heart tug here), with meticulous notations on who it was provided by--Carrie, Marion, Ruth, Mary, Gladys,
Edna, and Fern--her friends and neighbors, church ladies, relatives and the couples club gals....brought back memories, as I could see their faces, and remember how sad she was when each "left" before her.
About half way through the "fragrance" rose up from the box--how does a box of recipes get and hold that familiar "old lady" odor when the old lady no longer cooked?---or maybe she was somehow there with me--looking for the Buckeye recipe? As quickly as it came, it went--was it in my head?....maybe. It was seeing the writting--a link to my past and my roots!
The first pass did not produce the buckeyes, but I did find several other favorites--and the famous "chocolate Jello" recipe (can't believe she kept this after we all voted!). Determined, I started in again. This time, I carefully separated anything stuck together, and as I flipped through marveled at the careful clipping and neat pasting ...lots of time for zuchinni recipes that she probably never used. But then, how many people have collected 13 inches of reicpe cards in an old plastic box?
Finally, somewhere behind the meatloaf, and in front of the "favorites", I found it....sticky, smuddgy, definately well used, and faded....start with a pound of butter, add 2 lbs of 10X sugar---definately appropriate for the weight watcher at work crowd--HA!
2 hours, many dishes, a dusting of powdered sugar everywhere (and I do mean everywhere), a few chocolate globs, and lots of sticky fingerprints later I had about 100 Buckeyes----and I sort of remembered why I stopped making holiday goodies in addition to the calories.
They look and taste like hers...somewhat of a triamph, as she rarely noted the ways she changed the recipes to make them her own! So off to the office a plate will go--and the rest are carefully packaged for other upcoming events.
Next time I will do this with one of the 4, because they need to know that you can still make these as a grownup, and it will be nice to have someone help with cleaning up the stickiness!
The emailed instructions indicated that we should bake, make, buy and/or bring our favorite traditional holiday treat for a sharing fest during lunch (I think they got a reprieve from weight watchers for a day!)
Tempting as "buy" was, I rejected it. I am a "home economist" after all. But when thinking of my traditional holiday treats--they all seemed most appropriate for 2-7 year olds--candy cane cookies, painted cookies, sugar cookies with sprinkles and frosting, krispy treats--then I remembered--I have been in the workforce all these years---so did not evolve my "holiday traditions" beyond the point when I returned to work full time--thus forever frozen in pre-and early elementary school items (which are currently appreciated by Z).
So, I think, perhaps I will adopt the more "grown up" holiday traditions of my mother. The coveted box (no, any of the 4, you cannot have it--yet) is in my possession! I find the 50's/early 60' plastic box (intended for shoes, I think) and marvel at the collection of kitchen "gunk" that covers it--but cannot remove it--as it is "important". Flour, butter, vanilla mixtures placed by her fingers over the years.....I have "Buckeyes" in mind--not the all time favorite tradition (her fudge meltaways), but I am likely to have all the ingredients on hand.
I start flipping at the front of the box. Cookies (largest section). Then candy...sauces? on through punch, cake, pie, desserts (second largest section). Plod through casseroles, meats (interstingly only two cards: Meatloaf and porkchop casserole), vegetables (another small section with a zuchinni recipe, green bean casserole, and 5 versions of Kansas creamed corn), there is a drinks section with how to make your own Kalulah, salads--subdivided into vegetable, gelatin, fruit, slaws, etc. There is no bread section, but there is a pancake tab--? On throughFrozen desserts, potluck favorites, and some cards with recipes, but no section label. As I am hunting for the buckeyes (to me they should have been in candy), I am amazed at the stuff my mother collected that I never saw her cook...like Chicken recipes, zuchinni anything, and a dozen variations of quiche. Maybe after I left home......
The recipes were mostly hand written in her own handwritting (a little heart tug here), with meticulous notations on who it was provided by--Carrie, Marion, Ruth, Mary, Gladys,
Edna, and Fern--her friends and neighbors, church ladies, relatives and the couples club gals....brought back memories, as I could see their faces, and remember how sad she was when each "left" before her.
About half way through the "fragrance" rose up from the box--how does a box of recipes get and hold that familiar "old lady" odor when the old lady no longer cooked?---or maybe she was somehow there with me--looking for the Buckeye recipe? As quickly as it came, it went--was it in my head?....maybe. It was seeing the writting--a link to my past and my roots!
The first pass did not produce the buckeyes, but I did find several other favorites--and the famous "chocolate Jello" recipe (can't believe she kept this after we all voted!). Determined, I started in again. This time, I carefully separated anything stuck together, and as I flipped through marveled at the careful clipping and neat pasting ...lots of time for zuchinni recipes that she probably never used. But then, how many people have collected 13 inches of reicpe cards in an old plastic box?
Finally, somewhere behind the meatloaf, and in front of the "favorites", I found it....sticky, smuddgy, definately well used, and faded....start with a pound of butter, add 2 lbs of 10X sugar---definately appropriate for the weight watcher at work crowd--HA!
2 hours, many dishes, a dusting of powdered sugar everywhere (and I do mean everywhere), a few chocolate globs, and lots of sticky fingerprints later I had about 100 Buckeyes----and I sort of remembered why I stopped making holiday goodies in addition to the calories.
They look and taste like hers...somewhat of a triamph, as she rarely noted the ways she changed the recipes to make them her own! So off to the office a plate will go--and the rest are carefully packaged for other upcoming events.
Next time I will do this with one of the 4, because they need to know that you can still make these as a grownup, and it will be nice to have someone help with cleaning up the stickiness!
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