Rent-a-witness

Today I got up before 6 a.m. to "attend" a web cast wedding. Someone S. knows at work send out an email last week--with the invitation and a URL--tune in at 6 a.m.---So I get my robe, slippers, and breakfast, and S. and I huddle in front of the CRT at this ungodly hour for nuptials! It was "interesting".

There were many minutes of a rug, several chairs, a desk (obviously for the officiant), some flowers and a mirror. People occasionally wandered in front of the web cam. There was classical music. Above the web cast box were the names of the bride and groom, the date, and a statement about it being their wedding ceremony in what ever language they speak in Venice (not Venice Indiana--Venice, the country).

Pretty soon we saw the bride and groom (you could tell by the bouquet and the suit) walk past--there was talking in the background, and then everyone took their places in front of the web cam (and the world). The groom grinned at the camera, and made a joke-waving--to acknowledge the "guests"--and probably to help him get over the nervousness of getting married. They appeared fuzzy and jumpy, but I think it was the streaming video and not their reality.

There was talking by the officiant--in melodic tones, with the translator repeating things in English(well, sort of English). There were two witnesses--which S. informed me they had to hire--and a photographer. The ceremony was "nice", the translator talked much longer than the officiant. The couple kissed, exchanged rings, signed the papers. They were married.

It wasn't the same as being there, but then, Venice is sort of a long way and a huge expense to attend the wedding of some people you don't really know--just have casually met a few times. It was "digital"--sometimes becoming little boxes, not a picture, and a whole lot of "buffering" had to go on periodically--but we got the idea. Then the screen went blank. No rice or rose petals or bird seed to throw, no receiving line, no reception. No dancing, no inebriated relatives, no sugary cake. It was just "done"--and we all went on with our day...some might say it is better this way. I love the party part--the celebration of the union! It felt more like being a peeping tom than a wedding guest!

The most intriguing thing about it to me were the rented witnesses--dressed(he) in a white suit with a pony tail, and she in a sundress. I wonder how much a rent-a- witness gets paid? I wonder how often they work? I wonder if in our country this would be considered "casual labor", or if withholding taxes would result in lowering the take home pay to less than the cost of dry cleaning the outfit?

I am going to have to remember this "career" option for my retirement--I may need to supplement my nest egg--how hard can being a rent-a-witness be? They just stood there. Then they signed something. They have no continuing obligation to the couple like most witnesses do. I think I would actually be overqualified, but I could always downplay my degrees and experience, and I have some suitable "hand washable" dresses!