Another Christmas…

 I am “that” grandma—the pajama grandma!  They get so much, and between their age and/or home location, it is impossible for me to know what they would like.  So, years ago, I decided on pajamas.  Everyone can use them, if you have more than one it is OK, and if your grandma picks out dumb ones (or really cool ones ) no one really needs to know about it.  I see so many advantages!

This year there was a unicorn pair— the recipient seemed pleased.  There was a fishing themed pair, a pair that was “large” which provoked a comment from the recipient, and for the oldest— a pair of men’s small separates.  It was my first foray into buying pajamas for a larger size!  It was a challenge!

There were lots of goofy holiday pajamas—not what I was looking for.  Flannel—nope.  Fleece…definitely not. Finally found a pair of pajama pants in a plaid, with a “sleep shirt” that coordinated.  There isn't much selection in mens pajamas—probably because they are not in high demand.  Think I will have to start sooner next year—- which means April, as three need summer pajamas all year long…

Oh, the challenges of being the pajama grandma!

Things I can no longer share….

 I miss her.  I miss the phone calls to talk about her day.  I missed helping to set up her room at school.  I missed the field trip to find the best prices on crayons, markers, and glue sticks to replenish her bins!  I miss sharing the victory of finding “five dollar pants!”  I missed making her a new back to school apron.  

I miss her smile!  I miss her arrival at my house in her bright yellow jeep, huge bag(s) slung over her shoulder, fast food wrappers for my trash.  I miss her creative outfits, bold jewlery, and funky shoes.  I miss all that I took for granted before the diagnosis.  I miss going for lunch!  I miss her texts, emails, and posts. 

I miss listening to the current “crisis”.  I miss the relating of her plans, big and small.  I miss making her pair of annual Christmas socks;  bright, colorful, and increasingly complicated patterns. I miss talking through challenges with a student or parents or teacher that she was trying to help.  I miss seeing this years “school picture”.

I know I will always have the memories.  I will always be the mother of four!  I think of her often.  Things remind me of her.  I see things I would like to get for her or tell her about.  But its not the same.  I miss the  relationship we had.  I miss her. 

A day out!

 I had lunch yesterday with an assortment of women I knew from my work life.  It was a pleasant outing to the Cheesecake Factory in the local mall.  We all remarked at how great everyone looked—must be less stress in retirement!  And we did not talk at all about “work”, but did share “news” about other former associates!  Glad they invited me.

While at the mall, I decided to go to the new Crate and Barrel and buy some bowls.  I had checked on line before I left.  Internet says they have the bowls.  When I get to the mall, I must walk through it to the other side to get to the C&B.  Made me realize that I haven’t been in the mall for years—not pandemic related!  

When I got to  the store, I walked up to the service desk and asked where the bowls were.  A nice gal grabbed her I pad and talked to someone on her communication device clipped to her shirt.  They were checking “in the back”,   Soon they began checking in the front.  After much searching she found two bowls in a display.  The internet and their computers had lied!  They did not have 4 bowls!  She offered to ship them to my home.  I did not need to walk through the mall for that!  Could have ordered them online from home!   So much for their fancy inventory control system!

Today they are FINALLY starting in the construction to convert our screen porch into a year round sun room.  Has been a long time coming.  Like 2 1/2 years!  A heart attack, a pandemic, lumber shortage, distribution problems, worker shortage, etc.  All played into the delay.  So excited it has finally begun!  We will see if they can accomplish this in their stated timeline…I’m thinking not.  But am hopeful that the Christmas tree will be displayed in a new space this year!

So fun lunch, not so fun retail experience and hope that our new room might be ready by winter!  Not a bad day at all. 

Its been a long time….

 And a lot has happened in my life.  Thats the thing, time marches on without you doing a thing!  I enjoyed blogging, but then got..distracted, bored, busy, unmotivated… maybe all of these.  One day, I just couldn’t sign in, and did not bother to figure it out.

Change is inevitable.  Time passes.  We change, out situations change, things happen to us and around us. Some we control, most we cant’t.  We can only control how we react.

The last two years have been tough.  Nobody asked for a pandemic! Especially one we really did not understand, at least in the beginning.  People got sick (yes, I did in the very beginning before it was even a headline) and some died.  There was controversy and drama and politicizing, with endless news cycles of doom.  We stayed apart, locked down, sanitizing and trying our best not to be a victim.  It didn't help that it was global.  It was hard not to succumb to fear.

Hopefully, we are now on the upside.  There is a  vaccine, things are re-opening.  Kids are returning to school, so there is hope that someday things will be normal again….someday.   But we are forever changed and those of us who survived will carry this experience with us for the rest of our lives.  It is hard not to fear that it may happen again, or that it is not really ever going to be “over”.  That we will just have to “live with it”…. Because really, that is all we can do.

For those of us who have survived this pandemic, time marches on.  A lot more will happen, good and bad.  Someday this may be a memory, not unlike polio.  Hopefully in the rear view mirror.   But this is not something I can control.  

I did manage to get back into my blog —small victory!  A good change is that I may be able to continue to  express myself and organize my thoughts on my blog.  A lot has happened.  It has been a long time.  Hopefully, I will be able to sign in tomorrow!  We will see!

In like a Lion

I cannot believe it is March 1 already!  In somewhat Michigan fashion, it is in the single digits, and snowing this morning.  So, maybe there is hope that in 31 days, it will be be more "lamb-like".  

I am looking forward to spring with a mixture of anticipation and dread.  I know what is under all this snow---weeds!  This spring is for getting my landscaping under control...or at least trying to.  According to my previously retired friends, this is very easy in retirement--just a few hours here and there on a consistent basis---sounds delightful, but i won't believe it until I experience it.

But there is no gardening today, so think I will watch the snow fall, do a little knitting, maybe spin a little, and eat another of the tripple chocolate brownies I made yesterday--not necessarily in that order.

On time, and if they only would sell yarn...

I when I worked, I had a boss who would send messages to all the staff on the day before a holiday around 2 or 3 in the afternoon.  These messages would be about spending TIME  with loved ones, or honoring vets, or whatever was appropriate for the season.  The messages were code for "you can leave now"!

He used to just announce that, but that got him into a lot of trouble, thus the secret code!  Everyone would await the message with great anticipation.  It was a small gift.

The greatest thing so far about being retired is the time---to sleep late, to vacuum for an hour if you want to, to knit, to spin, to bake cookies, to clean something, to read or watch a movie!  To seek out new groups to be apart of, who share your interests.  Time to research stuff on the internet.  Time to do something, or do nothing.   Time to do anything that strikes your fancy--lots of unstructured time to do with as you please.  Work, or projects, can expand infinately into this new found time!  It is such a novelty!

I love getting up when it is "time", and deciding what to do that day.  Somedays, I tackle a lot, some days, not so much, as there is always tomorrow.  After all the years of structure, deadlines, planning, appointments, etc.,  I am loving the new pace of "what do I feel like doing today."  I am finding that one event or committment a week is a good pace---just enough.  I am being selfish with my new-found time!

Of course, it helps that Mr. CP still goes to work everyday---but I think it will be easy to train him in my new time management method once he retires.  I will just have to go to Costco more often than I might go on my own, as it is his favorite hobby...

if they only sold yarn, we would be all set!

Now that i have the time...

Today I chose the barware as the target of my daily clean/organize/redistribute task.  Now everything that belongs upstairs is there, and all of the wine and beer glasses that had migrated upstairs are back in the bar.  It took much longer than anticipated to sort, match, and locate the appropriate shelf for everything.  

We do NOT, I repeat , DO NOT need any more stemwear.  I have no idea how we have acquired so many different sizes and shapes of wine glasses.  And I don't even drink wine!  

I managed to put everything away, except for 6 half pint glasses, and 6 or so wine tumblers.  And there is a new case of wine glasses... And there is the hanging rack waiting to be installed.....

Note to self and children---wine glasses are off the list---at least until a few dozen of these get broken! 

Oh, and I organized the toy cupboards, and put the toys away!  Making some progress!😊